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So why do most couples fail to improve their relationship?  

It’s not due to the lack of motivation, but the lack of clarity.

You can be super motivated, and passionate about improving your relationship, but that’s not gonna be enough. In fact, you’ll probably fail. So how do you win as a couple? Here’s how:

Extraordinary couples create radical clarity.

Clarity on their goals. Clarity with their needs. Clarity on what they want. Clarity creates accountability and action and is the real fuel for change.

So what’s the best way to do this? Just pick 1 thing you want to improve.

Force yourself to work on just 1 area of your relationship. The experts say this:

If you want to change everything, focus on one thing.

I was reading this article about marketing. And they found that the more options you give a shopper, the less likely they will buy. For example, if you only have 2 choices of cereal they will choose one. But if you have four different types of cereal well they get overwhelmed. And then they don’t buy anything. Same thing goes for your relational growth.

There’s a lot you could choose to work on. Theres a lot to talk about. Theres lots of moving parts in your relationship. But if you want to create real change, reduce your choices down to just a couple options, and then pick one to focus on.

How do you know you have clear goals as a couple? Here’s some key factors.

  1. Both of you can clearly express the goal.

  2. You know when you’re on track with the goal. (Or when you’re off course)

  3. The goal is part of your regular conversations. You talk about it.

  4. You have created accountability. You’ve shared your goal with others.

Jennifer and I share more about making your relationship easier in our Extraordinary Couples guided video course. Learn more here.

Mike Foster