Satisfying relationships involve conversations about feelings, hopes, dreams and disappointments. But most couples have a hard time talingk about these things with each other. It is why we created “Five Dates” and the “Playbook For Couples.”

Another great tool to help you talk about your feelings is to use the L-O-V-E Method. It’s a simple framework to talk about the things that matter.

Here’s what it looks like:

L - Listen
O - Open heart and mind.
V - Validate each other.
E - Express feelings simply. 

Listen: Good communication always starts with good listening. Instead of responding, criticizing or trying to make your point, listen to what your partner is trying to communicate to you.

Open: Being open means I put aside any of my judgments or initial biases. It means I am humble enough to learn something that I may not be aware of.

Validate: Instead of responding too quickly to what your partner is saying, take a moment and validate their point of view. Acknowledge that you understand their point of view. Avoid saying, “That’s ridiculous!” or “I reject that belief.”

Express: Disclosing things to your partner in a strategic way is critical. Pick the right time and place to have these important conversations. How you express yourself matters A LOT! Be aware of your tone, posture and that you express yourself in a calm and simple way.

Let these four values guide your conversations and you are guaranteed to have awesome dialogue with each other. You will reduce conflict, the fights will stop and your relationship will thrive as you talk about the things that really matter.

Learn the 4 questions every couple must answer each week in our “Playbook For Couples”

Mike Foster